"I have no idea what's going on..."

^^ my reaction during football game lol.

So yesterday i took Krissy and myself to Jens house for a "football party". It was suppose to be a get together to watch the Giants game, eat food and just catch up with friends. The giants were losing badly and like no one was paying attention so everyone was just kinda talkin in small groups and eating and wat not and it was niceee. Denisse wanted to see the tree but most of us were too lazy to go so Jen said we could stay at her crib while her Denisse, Justin K, and Eliza went to see the tree. We agreed, except they def came back 5-6 hours later lmao. so we were goin crazy tryin to think of shit to do in da house...oh man funny shit smh.. but it was fun. i def love my friends od. and Aura got me Watchmen for xmas like she had promised and a manga adaption of a James Patterson novel and hes like one of my fav authors and i love magna. so jea Aura is def the BEST. haha.

I currently have no plans for tomorrow but might hit up Josmel or Lauren, since Jos is only gonna be in NY till Sunday and i wanna see Lauren before this break creeps by. i shall see!

i love bush!

Darlene,Jea9,Josie <3

Daphne,Krissy,Justin,Aura,Juan,Jordan <333

A post full of pictures

Soo I am offically on winter break!! i am still waiting for two of my grades so ill let u know them later =]

uhm first day of break Krissy and Nyke came over and we just chilled a bit.

second day of break went to the city with Krissy, Justin, and Juan and just walked around catchin up and having some mickey d's. Juan had to go so me Krissy and Justin went and did some Hookah, and Justins roommate with his cousin passed by to say hi, he seems really cool. uhm den just went home and chilled Ramon and Krissy ordered dominos at like 1am. smfh.

Xmas Eve consisted of family coming over, getting fat, drinkin, and listenin to music. And seeing my favorite cousin Tammy for the first time since fuckin January SMFH.

^^ u see that cute lil boy!! lol

uhm i then oovooed with Lauren one of my middle school best friends for abut 3 hours just catchin up, i had REALLY missed her. Def a good way to spend xmas morning at like 3am lmao.

i hope everyone enjoyed their christmas!

new years next!

My Two Favorite Baboons

I HAD MISSED THEM

AND I LOVE THEM

<3

Dear Dakota,

A year ago today you left us. By your own choice. I didnt really know you, i was just able to point u out in da hallways and had heard one or two crazy stories involving you. But boy did i shed tears for you at the memorial assembly, at graduation, and last night at the start of this day when i went thru your baby pics that your mother put up for others to view on this day. You looked SOO happy and picture after picture all i could see was love between you and your parents. Your friends miss you SOOO much, you dont understand how many hearts broke a year ago when the news was given. I still remember math class that day. math 8th pd with mrs robertson was always loud and crazy. Eva always up to something. But not that day...Eva couldnt even stay in school she was soo shook so heartbroken, that math pd we were terribly quiet no one talking. we got thru a whole lesson for the first time, and mrs robertson just looks at us and simply asks "are u guys ok?" and of course we were not. no one responded. the rest of that week and even the following week the senior class seemed so dead...teachers were also different. no work was given to us. Jen the clown of the group, the jokester, looking the saddest i have everrr seen her, she misses you oh so much. those days were so hard for her, none of us knew wat to do, we just didnt. It hurt to see so many of my friends crying and i just didnt kno wat to do. and even i cried after that assembly i rmr crying to Juan and him takin me to class and it being like 10 mins before i was able to go in. and to think i didnt even kno you. or how after everyone walked across the stage at graduation we all stood and watched your parents walk across for you, your mother crying her eyes out. it was like wow. and to think that Dakota you were just the first of four deaths we would go through senior year. And that i would soon after see all my beloved Juniors at the time be heartbroken. but wat still gets to me is dat unlike Josh and Jordin, your death was self inflicted, you WANTED to die. You, a kid who seemed to have loving parents, friends, had gotten into the college of your choice wanted to end your life in such a brutal way. it blows my mind...that you could blow yours....Maybe you wanted to be something greater because of your death you changed the lives of many such as myself that you might not have been able to do otherwise. And your death def brought the class of 09 together and made us a lil tighter as a whole. But somehow i feel it just wasnt worth it. Not when i think back to those crying faces, and to that empty feeling. I just really hope your happy where you are now. I really do.

RIP

You were such a beautiful baby.

*edit*

I just looked through your memorial page now to finish wat i had started at midnight and there was sooo much to you, its so clear to see that you were gonna be something great. i wont not lie i always thought u were a bit odd but after reading some of your work and hearing all these stories i feel like you were one of those people that i will forever look for to just sit down and have a real conversation with. i got around to talking to people i never had before during senior year. why didnt u give me a chance to meet you?

R.I.P Abuelo

Never met you, or spoke to you. Pero hey wouldnt be here without you.

<3

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

So ive been in a MUCH better mood lately =D, probably cuz ive been talking to friends and making plans for break. LAST CLASS OF THE SEMESTER WAS FRIDAY !!!

Friday was a goood day, last class, went to Auras house for a bit and played with her dog, went to NYU to see Kamrun and Craig, pigged out at an NYU dining hall, went and did hookah with them in st marks for the first time-it was cool will do it again but not often, then me and Kamrun went to Bx Sci to watch the play but got there super late and missed Pimento and Cindys parts =[,though i know they did AMAZING. Oh and we sat in front of Shamuir and crew and uhm they of course were super high smh but their added commentary to the play were tooo funny some annoying but some funnyyyy lol. But jea i should def be working on my music paper right now or studying for that math final i have tomorrow at 8am -_______-

The next week will consist of studying, test taking, and possibly a bit of chilling?

wateverrr fun times are to come!

Just Here.

So im laying in bed and have a million thoughts running through my head and i realize that im not happy nor sad. Im just here. And this makes me miss certain people terribly. I have alot of good friends but right about now im really missing Juan and Elena. Juan who i can eventually tell everything to and loves me no matter what, the one who upsets only because i love him so much. Elena who i can tell anything to and no matter her view on it stands by me and the one who never fails to cheer me up. I said in my last post i wanted new people in my life but right about now some old ones sound nice. Im only gettin by these days cuz i have people like Aura, Zhen,Nick, Pimento, Unsha, and etc to talk to. But without God and friends like Juan and Elena closeby things arent as great as they can be. I also miss the friendship i use to have with Ric way back when. But ahh this post sounds mad emo and im actually not this sad lol im actually quite happy that i will hopefully be spending time with my friends and eventually starting a new hopefully exciting term. Also wanna pick up some hobbies. Ok im done just felt like blogging. Time to get sleep so i wont be tired during lecture with Aura and Jimmy jam tomorrow.